My observer is a full time faculty member at the school. At this new school where I teach, I feel like I am swimming around with no guidance or mentoring, so it will be refreshing to hear what he has to say about my methods. On the other hand, I am scared out of my mind that I am not doing a good enough job. At my old school, I was good to go; I knew everyone and I was very confident in my teaching abilities. Now, I am more uncertain about things. I try very hard not to let this show, but it must at some point. I will just keep going with it. I mean, they haven't fired me yet and have already scheduled me for a class in the spring. I think that is a good sign. hehe.
My regular job is starting to wear down on me a bit. New policies, seemingly foolish ones, are starting to be pushed on to us. It is hard not to be frustrated when this is NOT what I want to be "when i grow up" at all. Teaching is what I love, but right now, being a developer is what pays my rent, my gas, my bills, and my health insurance. So each day I have to go through the motions of being passionate about this full time job, when deep down I just want to teach. Yesterday I decided that I would stop being so stressed out about this FT job and not take is so seriously. With that new outlook, I realized that I do not do a whole heck of a lot here on a day to day basis. This is a discouraging realization. It could just be the change in seasons and the darker sky in the mornings, so, here too, I need to just keep going with it all.
Positive thoughts for the day:
- Sam's softball team won last night! They took 7th place :) hehehe.
- Observation night is over! YAY!
- Only two more days until my bum toe gets fixed.
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